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I swim outside the fish bowl
"Jealous Terrorist" 
28th-May-2007 11:36 pm

“Jealous Terrorist” may top them all even "Kinda Built".  I have so many stories I will have to use multiple names, which makes since in this case.  He actually has multiple names.  Every time he would call from a different phone a different name would show up on the caller ID.  “Jealous Terrorist” claimed all names to be his.  He must have at least eight names that I know of.  He had two different last names, three different first names and a few middle names. 

Here are some of his many names.  In no particular order mainly because I have no clue what the order would be. 

 

Al

Almadeus

Ali

Mohammad

Ahmed 

Hussien

Asshole - I gave him that one 

 

That’s all I can recall at the moment.

"Jealous Terrorist" had a strong accent, which I had trouble understanding & he had trouble understanding me.  I asked him if he was Cuban, he said yes but he thought I said I was Cuban.  So I was Cuban while we dated.  I tried to tell him I wasn’t Cuban but it was a lost cause.  I believed he was Cuban for a while but he later told me he was Italian.  (I was always lost in our conversations)


“Jealous Terrorist” was really Middle Eastern, Egyptian to be exact.  He told me he was Catholic but he was Muslim.  I guess he was having an identity crisis.

Everything in this relationship was confusing.  He was my first rebound & my last.  “Jealous Terrorist” is my all time biggest regret.  I was my own little country with my very own little terrorist to torture me.  Just writing about him makes me want to hunt him down and step on him with my heel digging into his brain.  Then I would like to call “Kinda Built” for a favor.  I'll make sure he brings a jar of formaldehyde.

 

I’m going to give you a bit more background on “Jealous Terrorist” before I begin all my stories about him.

 

He desperately needs anger management

He doesn’t understand the word “no”

He treats his cat better than people

He discriminates against females

He’s in need of listening skills

He has short-man syndrome

He’s extremely jealous

He’s a control freak

He’s impatient

He’s abusive
He lies a lot

I'll start the first story in my next entry.  It will take several entries to tell everything about this idiot.  I'll leave you some story subjects to ponder.

1.  Thanksgiving
2.  Bras
3.  Christmas
4.  Soap
5.  Son
6.  X-Wife
7.  Daughter
8.  Cat
9.  Ernie's
10. Cleaners
11. Chicken
12. deodorant

Be sure to check back for your reading pleasure!

 

 

 

 

 

 

Comments 
29th-May-2007 07:29 pm (UTC)
Oh Rachel- you may have me beat again! I'll let you decide after I write up the hacker who was into bloodplay and lied about his age and
whose phone was being tapped by the FBI for suspicions of racketeering.

He was a junior in high school, not college!
1st-Jun-2007 01:13 am (UTC)
Honeybun:

Where are you? I've been waiting patiently all week for the hacker story. I hope you are ok. If not go get one of the things you told me to get at Starbucks.

See you next weekend! Since Amando's is next door to Gecko we could go there instead of Sherlock's. We can decide at the group meeting.
1st-Jun-2007 03:22 am (UTC)
I can't go to Amado's :-(

My dad has his company picnic that day, and the kids wait all year for it. Plus, hubby is shooting it, so $$.

I don't know what's wrong with me. The week started out great. We're all getting used to a new schedule with third grade being over for Ethan, and the homeschool playgroup in the mornings now instead of afternoons, and then all the rain... Ethan wanted to go ahead and start fourth grade, so I had to write up the schedule and general lesson plan, etc. I've had a tough time thinking of much else.

But today I crashed. I spent all day chatting, and I do mean ALL day. Finally, a friend told me to go do something else for an hour, and I went to WalMart. I bought supplies for canning- going to an orchard this weekend to get peaches and plums. Should be fun. No, I have never picked fruit or canned before. AND I did something super really weird- I bought cloth diapers (and covers and pins and bleach).

I think I have truly lost my mind.

June 2, 2006 was my severance date. It's been a long year.

PS: I'm taking the kids to the Lifetime pool tomorrow- they just don't know it yet!
1st-Jun-2007 06:04 am (UTC)
I always laugh out loud when I read your comments. I think you will totally regret the cloth diapers. My mom still talks about how gross cloth diapers were & how lucky women are today. You are so domesticated with your fruit picking and canning. It's so strange how we think up these ideas that we totally think are great, but then we find remnants of the great idea later & think what the hell were we thinking. Wow! Ethan sure is motivated.

I'm trying to get my sister to plan my dream vacation to go treasure hunting for gold, amethyst, diamonds or coins. Hopefully we will go this summer. Friday I'm co-hosting a pool party for both 5th grade classes of all girls for my niece. I told you I like kids. I like the option to borrow them and then return. Friday night I have another hot date! Very excited!!! Have fun this weekend & return those cloths & pins.
1st-Jun-2007 06:35 pm (UTC)
I think you'll find that, with the possible exception of bloodplay (not sure), Rachel will have all those covered as well!
12th-Nov-2010 01:59 pm (UTC)
Dear Vixen,

just stopped by to say you are fantastic to read.
rgds
12th-Nov-2010 03:21 pm (UTC) - Thank you
You made my day. I need to start writing again soon. I'll let you know when I do.

Thanks again,
Rachel aka Vixen
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